I Want To Be A Child Star – feat. Luca Padovan – “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”
Hello there, and you are? My name is Tucker Bunch I hail from Santa Fe, New Mexico And I’m here for one thing only. Hit i! Every night I lie awake Dreaming of my big break I just gotta to act and dance and sing ‘Cause I only ever wanted one thing I want to be a preteen Hollywood trainwreck A cautionary tale I want the kind of fame that’ll warp my brain And eventually land me in jail I want to sue my parents for emancipation After they get caught stealing from me I want to be on the set of The Walking Dead When I lose my virginity I want to be a child star It’s gonna be bad Child star It’s gonna be sad, oh yeah Childhood is overrated I’m ready for mine to end I want to have agents and assistants Instead of actual friends I’ll be abusive and emotionally stunted But everyone will tolerate me They’ll have no choice because my face and my voice Make them all so much money I want to have a teenage Hollywood meltdown Be a pop culture casualty I want a bunch of addictions to illegal prescriptions And completely lose touch with reality I want to squander everything I’ve worked for And spiral out of control I want to wake up in Van Nuys with a bunch of sketchy guys I’ve never even met before I want to be a Child star Who are you guys? Child star Can I have some more money? Oh baby, I’ve hit rock bottom. I can’t live like this! It’s time to get my act together Refocus on my passion! I want to be a desperate Hollywood has-been A classic “where are they now?” I’ll try to clean up my act and get my agent back And salvage my reputation somehow I’ll do a lot of community service And apologize to Meryl Streep I want to be that former child star That you’ll see in bars And say, “Hey!” “There’s that bloated bankrupt creep!” Child star!